A glorious friend of mine has been diagnosed with Post Partum Depression.
I'm so utterly, utterly proud of her for seeking help. It's just another way she is The Most Awesome Mum (and also PERSON) Of All Time. She recognised a problem and she darn well got that problem sorted. Like a boss. Her gorgeous kidlets are super lucky to have her.
When I was pregnant, I never for a moment thought I'd be at risk of PPD. I just knew that, if Tiger made it into the world, I'd be so gosh-darn grateful that I'd be happy for ever and ever and ever.
But that's the thing about PPD. It's not "being sad". It's a chemical imbalance. It's an illness, as real as cancer or pneumonia or diabetes. It just happens that the illness occurs in your brain, and people - for whatever reason - feel differently about illnesses that happen in your brain, as if it wasn't just another organ that can become sick.
I never did get Post Partum Depression, but I have suffered horribly with what I call PPA - Post Partum Anxiety. I don't think I've slept properly for the past nine months. I lie awake, listening to Tiger breathe, terrified that if I let myself fall asleep she'll forget how to do it and stop. When I do sleep I have nightmares about her dying. I spend the hours when she sleeps during the day thinking up ways she could get hurt.
It's illogical. But illness doesn't follow logic.
I haven't sought help for my anxiety from a medical professional. At the moment I'm managing it myself. But I know if it got any worse - if it got to the point where it was endangering Tiger - I'd be there in a flash. Because that's what strong women do. They seek help.
Which is why I admire my friend so much. She's a brave, beautiful woman, an incredible mum, an inspiration.
She's phenomenally lovely.
~ Love, Miss Cackle x
1 comments:
My youngest is 7 and I still have to get up through the night sometimes just to satisfy my anxiety. Check they are all ok and back to bed. I think she was about 3 before I could let go enough to go to sleep easily and comfortably. I still assess every situation for dangers, etc. And I think every mother has nightmares about dying and leaving their kids behind, and about them dying.
It is much harder when your kids are so precious and you have worked so hard to bring them into the world. That I understand too!
As for PPD there is a lot more acceptance these days but still a long way to go. I had depression during my pregnancy and that is virtually undiscussed but I found out very real and very common too.
One day maybe the world and everyone in it will accept that the brain does strange things too and we need support and help to get back on track, and that's OK.
Cheers
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