What makes a good mum?

 

This morning, a "something" happened. A "something" that made a certain Cackle Mummy rather ponderous. 

And what she pondered was this:

What makes a good mummy?

And, of course, her tired mind was flooded with answers, like:

• One whose baby sleeps beautifully in their cot
• One whose baby always has spill-free clothing
• One whose baby lives in a clean house, which is never neglected in favour of playing with said baby or writing stories
• One whose baby is breastfed exclusively for the recommended length of time
• One whose baby never cries
• One whose baby meets each of their milestones at the expected time
• One whose baby never has a papercut on their nose or a fingernail scratch on their cheek
• One whose baby eats every flavour of their organic baby food (instead of steadfastly refusing mango, despite seeming to like it at first)
• One whose baby is quiet and never yells in glee or anger
• One whose baby can roll in both directions
• One whose baby loves being held, and wouldn't usually prefer to be rolling
• One whose baby didn't stuff her fist so far down her throat it made her gag and cry ... and then do it again
• One whose baby is never covered in Mummy's breakfast

Once the certain Cackle Mummy's brain had ceased its Dance Of Shame, the Cackle Mummy looked down at her little girl, smiling and snuffling in her arms (the only place she will sleep during the day, rather than "beautifully in her cot").

And she saw that her Tiger was peaceful and smiling in her sleep. And strong and healthy. And she remembered that, after the "something", she and Tiger had a wonderful read of Hairy MacLary and a stellar tummy time and then just lay there together for awhile, on the floor, just breathing and smiling at each other.

And she revised her list.

A good mummy, she decided, just loves her baby so much it hurts and tries to do the best for them, even if they don't always succeed and often make mistakes. "Somethings" will happen but, as a very wise Bear of the Husband variety noted this morning, what's important is that we learn from the somethings and try to do better next time, not that we put ourselves in the Chokey Of Guilt for all eternity.

And:

• A good mummy helps their baby to sleep, in whatever way works, even if it's on Mummy's belly.
• A good mummy cleans spills when she notices them, makes sure they aren't dangerous spills, and forgets about them. Babies spill. End of.
• A good mummy reads stories and hugs and plays and, when the baby is asleep, does whatever makes her feel sane. Bah to housework (unless housework makes Mummy sane).
• A good mummy tries to breastfeed, but if it doesn't work, does whatever it takes to nourish their baby. End. Of.
• A good mummy tries to help her baby when she cries, but knows that sometimes babies just do cry. For no reason whatsoever.
• Bah to milestones.
• A good mummy secretly thinks it's cool that her baby got a papercut (one that didn't even draw either blood or a grizzle), while her baby was trying to help Mummy read a story. Baby likes book! Win!
• A good mummy tells her baby, "it's fine. I hate mango too, and tries to hide the mango in some apple and cinnamon (at least, I hope that's what a good mummy does)!
• A good mummy is stoked her baby is feisty and loves talking.
• A good mummy tries turning her baby in the other direction but, after watching her roll three hundred and sixty five degrees around her playmat, sighs and says, "That's cool, Tiger. You'll get there."
• A good mummy lets her baby roll if that's what she wants to do.
• A good mummy lets her baby put her fist in her throat, gag and do it again, if that's what she wants to do (she'll make the connection eventually).
• A good mummy looks down at happy, sleeping, breakfast-covered baby, laughs, judges that toast is still edible, picks it up and eats it.

And what, you might ask, makes a good baby?

Baby.

Baby is all baby needs to be.

And Tiger baby is awesome at being baby.

So that's just fine. That's just lovely.

~ Love, Miss Cackle