Stop Being So Hard On Yourself!

I've heard it so often it has almost become white noise.

The people who say it mean well, of course, but either they haven't done this parenting thing before, or they did it a very long time ago, or they have very bad short-term memories.

Or else, more likely, they do remember, they do know, and they are just saying it to make me feel better.

"Stop being so hard on yourself."

They say it when Tiger has a boo boo. They say it when she is teethy. They say it when she throws a tanty (so far, only a one-off). They say it when I express concern I don't respond as well as I should to these little incidents in Tiger's life.

They say it when I get sick and I KNOW I'm not at my best.

They say it when I worry I'm not the best possible mummy to Tiger all of the time.

Which I know I'm not. Some days I'm tired. Some days I'm stressed. Sometimes I KNOW I could do better. Some days I just feel like a Terrible Plop. And it helps me to say this out loud (or on Facebook or Twitter). It helps me to say, "Help. I really suck at this today. I'm not fishing for reassurance, or to be told I actually am a good mum. I just need to let it out. I don't mind if nobody responds, but if they do, it's lovely.

And I do appreciate it when they say "Stop being so hard on yourself."

Because I know I need to. But it's hard. And I know that every single one of the parents, or grandparents, or aunties or uncles who say that to me have, at some stage, been hard on THEMselves, too. Because we want to be the best parents or grandparents or aunties or uncles that we can be and occasionally we fail and it makes us feel terrible. Because we care. Because we know these precious little people deserve the world and the best and we want to give it to them all the time.

I think the fact that I am hard on myself makes me normal. 

I think it means I'm the same as all the other parents - the ones who care.

And I know you all care. And I know that one day you will feel as if you've failed. And you will tell me.

And I will say, "Stop being so hard on yourself."

~ Love, Miss Cackle x