Yesterday, Tiger and I went for a catchup with Auntie J and Auntie JC*, in a little cafe near to the candy pink house.
Auntie J brought The G Man (18 months) and Auntie JC brought Miss A (4) and Miss E (a super squishable 13 months).
While The G Man ate apple and Thought About Dinosaurs (he loves them rather a lot), and Eleanor ate dried fruit and Thought About Strawberries (she was just that morning discovered stealing them from the strawberry bush), and Aunties J and JC talked about Grown Up Stuff, Miss A and I had Chats.
And it was in the course of these chats that I realised that, when Tiger is a Miss 4, I will be very bad indeed at Explaining All Of The Things.
Here is just a sample of the questions Miss A asked in the course of our catchup.
Miss A: (after I told her hippopotamuses are more dangerous than lions, so, yes, my bad here) Why are hippopotamuses more dangerous than lions?
Me: Um. I think they squish things?
Miss A: (after I told her bees were very important and valuable to the world - again, my bad, but I was trying to make her less afraid of them) Why are bees important?
Me: Um. They pollinate things.
Miss A: What's pollinate?
Me: (*gah*) Um, it means taking the ... pollen ... which is like seeds? You know seeds? How you plant a seed and plants grow?
Miss A: Yes.
Me: Well, pollen is like seeds and bees carry the pollen around and drop it and stuff grows.
Miss A: So why is that important?
Me: Because if they didn't do that we'd have to radically change our food sources. I think. Maybe you should ask your dad about it when you get home. Next?
Miss A: Why are tree leaves green?
Me: Because of chlorophyll. Or photosynthesis. Or ... AUNTIE J, HELP!
Miss A: What's the thing on Tiger's head?
Me: It's called a strawberry. It's a birthmark. Tiger uses it to communicate with martians.
Miss A: Really?
Me: Yes. So. Let's talk about hippopotamuses ...
I'm now dreading Tiger being four. She will have all sorts of questions like this and I am ill-equipped to answer them. If she had questions about, say, Greek Theatre or Thomas Hardy or pointillism or the songs of Take That, I could totally win at that. But what if she asks me about calculus or xenotransplants or (gah!!!) CRICKET???
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO???
My theory at this point is I will just say to her, "I don't know! Let's look it up!" but what if she ends up thinking her mum just doesn't know ANYTHING?
Luckily, of course, Tiger's Daddy Bear knows All Of The Things. So he will be an excellent backup.
And I am trying to look on the bright side. Tiger's questions will be an opportunity for me to learn stuff too. We will learn stuff together.
And that will be lovely.
But still ... help!!!
~ Love, Miss Cackle x
1 comments:
Definitely, the last option. Learn together, because there are so many kids out there who think that there is nothing else they can learn. It's not a good day unless you learn something new.
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