That's the planley, Stanley

I've never been good at making plans. Or keeping them. Or being, in any way, organised like other grown-up people are.

I'm notorious for forgetting coffee dates, turning up late to appointments, clean wiping from memory all memory of having made any plans to meet people. I was like this Before Tiger. Now, I'm utterly hopeless.

I'm the queen of the "I'll deal with it tomorrow". It's not a procrastination thing, not really. I'm actually really good at knuckling down and working hard. I never miss a deadline, never turn in work I'm unhappy with. But when it comes to making plans for the future, I'm always a bit ... overconfident. I think, "It's in a week. I'll have myself together by then. I'll be on top of things. I'll deal with it then."

And then I forget about it. Usually until a reminder on my phone goes off if I remembered to set one. At which point I am usually not on top of things. Or, more often, when I get a call asking where I am. Which is usually not where I'm meant to be and not close.

Tiger and I live a fairly "in the moment" existence. Today, on a whim, I took us to crunch in leaves in the park, and we stayed there for an hour. On other days we might go tot he museum or the Seaport or to see the monkeys, or for long walks, or we just lie on the lounge room floor, playing with blocks for hours. And Tiger has this special magic power where minutes turn into hours and, before you know it, a day is gone. Little things seems immense and exciting to her, and they become so for me too. I can spend what feels like hours with her, staring at birds or the clouds, or building block towers and knocking them down again. This is my life now, and I love it. Apart from the couple of hours a day I spend before she wakes, writing and editing, I'm at the mercy of a Little Person, and I love it.

But all of this means plans are not my friend. Weekends are an exception because having Daddy Bear there makes me kick myself into gear and do all the things I meant to do during the week. But otherwise ...

All of this is a big, long-winded way of saying "sorry". I'm sorry to anyone I said I'd catch up with and didn't. Sorry for being late. Sorry for being distracted. I'll get the hang of this "being grown up" thing one day. I'll stop being so utterly enthralled by my little girl that I lose whole days.

I'll get there. That's the plan, anyway.

 ~ Love, Miss Cackle x


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